The Ancient Wisdom of Embracing Pain | A Vedic Counselor's Reflection
Author :: Jess Marie, CVC, CAHC, INHC, RYT 🌻
When I first encountered Dr. Gabor Maté's profound observation about pain & healing, it immediately resonated with my understanding of the Vedic approach to human suffering. His words: “All of western medicine is built on getting rid of pain, which is not the same as healing. Healing is actually the capacity to hold pain." speak to a fundamental truth that ancient Indian wisdom has long recognized.
In the Vedic tradition, pain is viewed not as an enemy to be vanquished, but as a teacher to be understood. The Sanskrit concept of "tapas," often translated as austerity or spiritual discipline, literally means "to heat" or "to burn." This burning is not meant to destroy but to transform, much like the intense heat that turns raw clay into sturdy pottery.
The modern Western approach to pain management, while valuable in its own right, often focuses solely on symptom suppression. We reach for pills to numb our headaches, seek quick fixes for emotional distress, and view discomfort as something to be eliminated rather than understood. This approach, while providing necessary relief, can sometimes prevent us from accessing the deeper wisdom that pain offers.
As a Vedic Counselor, I've observed that true healing often begins when we develop what the ancient rishis called "sakshi bhava": witness consciousness. This state allows us to hold space for our pain without being consumed by it. It's similar to what Dr. Maté suggests when he speaks of the "capacity to hold pain." This capacity isn't about enduring suffering needlessly; rather, it's about developing the strength to sit with our discomfort long enough to understand its message.
The Bhagavad Gita teaches us that both pleasure & pain are temporary visitors to the space of our consciousness. When we learn to witness both with equanimity, we begin to access a deeper layer of healing that transcends mere pain relief. This is where transformation occurs, not in the absence of pain, but in our relationship with it.
In my practice, I've seen countless individuals achieve profound healing when they shift from asking "How can I get rid of this pain?" to "What is this pain trying to teach me?" This shift aligns perfectly with Dr. Maté's observation and often leads to more sustainable healing outcomes. Whether it's physical ailments, emotional trauma, or spiritual distress, the principle remains the same: healing requires us to develop the strength to hold space for our pain while remaining present with it.
The Vedic approach offers several practical tools for developing this capacity:
Dhyana (meditation) practices that cultivate witness consciousness
Pranayama (breathing) techniques that help regulate our nervous system's response to pain
Philosophical frameworks that help us understand the role of suffering in personal growth
Community support systems that allow us to feel held while we learn to hold our own pain
Dr. Maté's insight bridges ancient wisdom with modern understanding, reminding us that true healing isn't about eliminating discomfort but about transforming our relationship with it. This perspective doesn't negate the value of pain relief but rather places it within a larger context of holistic healing.
Healing Codependency & Sexual Trauma
In my specialized work with codependency & sexual trauma, this capacity to hold pain takes on even deeper significance. Codependency often emerges as a survival mechanism, a way to avoid feeling our own pain by focusing on others. The Vedic concept of "maya," or illusion, helps us understand how codependent patterns create a false sense of Self, one built around the needs & emotions of others rather than our own truth.
The journey of healing from codependency requires developing what I call sacred boundaries, a concept that aligns with both Vedic wisdom and modern trauma-informed care. These boundaries allow us to hold our own pain instead of attempting to manage everyone else's. The ancient practice of "svadhyaya" (Self-study) becomes particularly powerful here, helping individuals distinguish between their authentic needs and the conditioned responses that characterize codependency.
When working with sexual trauma survivors, the wisdom of "holding pain" rather than avoiding it becomes especially crucial. The body keeps the score, as trauma experts often say, but the Vedic tradition has long understood this through the concept of the "koshas": the five sheaths of existence. Trauma impacts all these layers: physical, energetic, mental, wisdom, and bliss bodies. True healing must address each level.
The path of healing from sexual trauma & codependency often involves learning to "hold" seemingly contradictory truths: that we carry deep wounds and that we are, at our core, whole. The Vedic understanding of "purnamadah purnamidam," meaning from wholeness emerges wholeness, provides a powerful framework for this healing journey.
As you navigate your individual healing journey, reconsider your relationship with pain. Instead of seeing it as an enemy to be defeated, you can view it as a messenger carrying important information about your mind | body | spirit. In developing the capacity to hold pain, we don't just survive difficultie, we allow them to transform us into more complete, compassionate, and conscious Beings.
The wisdom of both Dr. Maté and the Vedic traditions points us toward a more nuanced understanding of healing, one that doesn't promise a pain-free existence but offers something far more valuable: the strength to hold our pain with dignity & awareness, allowing it to become a catalyst for profound transformation.
In working with sexual trauma survivors and those healing from codependency, and going through my own healing, I've witnessed the extraordinary resilience of the human spirit when supported by these ancient wisdom traditions. The journey isn't about escaping pain but about reclaiming our inherent wholeness, even as we hold space for our wounds. This is the true path of healing, one that leads not just to survival, but to profound transformation and awakening.
Vedic Counseling is a superior alternative that promotes overall well-Being.
It's always highly recommended, encouraged and advised to consult with a qualified mental health professional to determine the best course of action for your individual situation. Ultimately, the choice between Vedic Counseling & Western medicine counseling will depend on your individual personal beliefs, preferences, and mental health needs.
For those seeking a natural & holistic approach to mental health, Vedic Counseling is a superior alternative that can promote overall well-Being on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level.
If you're interested in exploring Vedic Counseling for mental health support, be sure to seek care from a qualified Vedic counselor (like me! 🌻) to learn more about this ancient & effective approach to healing.
Jess Marie 🌻
CVC, CAHC, INHC, RYT
Jess is a multi-certified, multi-faceted Vedic professional & business consultant. She offers wellness offerings to support those seeking a more holistic & integrative approach to healing, as well as business support services for professionals in the health, wellness & spirituality fields.
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